Why is death by suicide difficult for survivors to manage?
Suicide is an interpersonal act—“… murder of oneself by oneself,” as someone once said. While the emotional pain experienced by the victim is ended when he takes his life, it continues to live on in those left behind to grieve the loss.
When the death of a loved one by suicide is not completely unexpected—as in situations where the depressed person spoke of his intentions—survivors may navigate the grieving process with less difficulty than survivors of an unexpected suicide. In such cases, anticipatory grief acts as a buffer and protective force in the months that follow the loss. Survivors who have had the chance to communicate with their depressed loved one and to listen to their concerns and fears may be comforted by knowing that they provided any help they could.
However, when suicide occurs unexpectedly, it is common for survivors to feel betrayed by—or feel anger toward—the departed. This type of grieving is a slow and painful process, and those left behind may harbor unresolved feelings of guilt, self-doubt, or self-loathing for not recognizing “the signs” or for ignoring their loved one’s efforts to communicate their intentions to them. Confusion and anger over why a loved one “chose” death over life—or over them—take time and understanding to work through.
What is loss?
Loss is a severing of an attachment to someone resulting in a changed relationship.
What is grief?
Grief is a normal response to loss. It is a universal, human experience that may be experienced physically, behaviorally, socially, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. “Normal” grief symptoms include a broad range of feelings and behaviors that are common after a loss.
What is bereavement?
Bereavement is the total reaction to a loss, including the process of healing and recovery from the loss. It is the state of having suffered a loss.